Monday, November 28, 2011

Home is...

Crap. It's been over 2 months since I posted!
I thought Janey Canuck had been over-exaggerating with all of the #youshouldblog tweets... #mybad
Forgive me if I repeat myself about anything, I haven't taken the time to read through my last few posts - I can't remember what they were about!
There have been some completions on my list - Thing #33 Make a wish at 11:11 on 11/11/11. This, in reality, should have been probably the most simple thing on my list. Unfortunately, I was in charge of our Remembrance Day ceremony at the school, which required a lot of overseeing right around that time. Did I make a wish right on 11:11. I'm gonna go with yes! LOL - When we had our moment of silence, I made my wish. It may have been a minute or two late, but I tried! For good measure, I also made a wish at 11:11pm, which counts as well I think ;)
I am ONE BOOK away from finishing my 50 Book Pledge - Thing 58. Since I have 4 books waiting to be read right now, this *should* be easily accomplished in the next month. It's funny how I thought I could double that amount back in the Spring. Who knew life would "get in the way"?
Speaking of, as many of you know there is a new man in my life. I can honestly say that I doubted ever finding someone who would put up with me, treat me well and actually want to spend time with me. Sadly, that is the trend that resulted from my dating history, and I became quite cynical. It may be early days yet, but this new man is more than I could have hoped for. Is it Thing 100? That's for me to know/figure out, and you to just wait and see!
Thing 6 has gotten away from me. The past few months have been crazy busy. I knew that working full-time would be a lot of work, but I really wasn't prepared for how exhausted I would feel all the time. I really need to go back to the gym, but I'm not sure when to do that! Finances are still an ongoing struggle that I am hoping to get a handle on soon, but for now I have been working extra at work, which has limited my time to go. Working almost 10 hours every day doesn't leave much free time, and when it does, I have been spending my time with JR. The honeymoon stage only lasts so long, right?!
I'm hoping to be able to work a little less when the new year comes, so that I can squeeze in the gym at least a few times a week, but it pretty much means I won't reach my goal by the time I turn 30. That is frustrating, but I should have seen it coming with the lack of gym time. Also, the Dukan Diet was WAY too much work for me - and after 3 weeks I hadn't dropped a thing. Why sacrifice enjoying your food? I do know that I have to cut back on the carbs and sugar again. Maintenance is going to be an issue when I lose my weight, because I know I have put a few pounds back on, just by eating normally. I don't eat to excess, and I don't eat nearly as many snacks and treats as I did before, so it has been really frustrating. I'd like to get to the point where I just don't care about my weight - maybe that is the secret?!
Random Thought 1: I've been thinking about getting into freelance writing. Not sure how to get started, but I am sure Google can help me out with that. I need some sort of part-time job/income to help me out, but I want it to be on my terms. Hopefully that's not wishful thinking.
OK, it's getting super late, and I really should sleep. I've been asleep by 10:30 most nights lately, and one of the reasons I am up so late is because JR isn't around to make me go to sleep! Another reason is that I have parent-teacher interviews the next two days, and I get really anxious and stressed out about them. Last year I really screwed a few of them up and made my life more stressful than it needed to be. This year I plan to say as little as possible. Hopefully my verbal diarrhoea takes a break for a few days!
But wait, I almost forgot my "philosophical" thought for my blog post. I usually have some thought I want to share with others, that is too long for twitter. Anyways, I have been thinking a lot lately about what "home" is. There are several reasons why, one of which is that my landlord's are selling the house I am renting in, and I'm pissed. Everyday there are more strangers traipsing through my apartment, and it makes me really uncomfortable. Will I have to move? Will the new landlord raise the rent? It's just stressful thoughts I don't really need. It has also made me feel rather disconnected to my apartment, which I thought I really loved. I also have been spending a lot of time at JR's, which has been great, but also stressful because his Dad lives with him and it's caused some tension with me being there so much.
Anyways,  I was thinking about how much my last apartment meant to me. How it was home, and I made it that way, because I needed that. To get over the shit in my past, I needed to make a home here where I felt I belonged. I needed a physical home to help me emotionally heal. Over the past 6 months though, there's been a bit of a shift. I have been finding home in my relationships with other people. Friends, family & JR have all allowed me to find a connection that is "home" with them. I'm not sure how to explain it any further than this, and maybe I'll look back and read this and think that I explained it all wrong, but I need to start getting it out somehow!
Random Thought 2: I do not like my laptop's keyboard. This may be why I don't blog very often. I HATE it. You would think after 3 months I would be used to it!! I get finger cramps when I type longer than 10 minutes. Grrr!!
I used to be able to express myself so well when writing. Whether or not you can sense the struggle when you read, I'm not so sure. I'd be interested to know!
Until next time