Wednesday, June 29, 2011

You Can't Have It All?

A few weeks ago I visited my cousin Holly in Toronto, and came across the diagram above that she had hanging on her fridge. I took a picture to save the image, but I don't even think that was necessary, because I haven't been able to get this out of my head since I saw it.
The theory is that you just can't find a man who has all 3 of these qualities going for him: handsome, awesome and single, you can only find a man with 2 of these qualities.
I laughed, thinking how cute, how true, in an offhand manner.
But then I kept thinking about it. And thinking about how true it actually is.
And about how, in the last month, I have met 3 different guys who fall into each of the category combinations.
I met someone who is single and handsome, someone who is single and awesome, and someone who is handsome and awesome.
The single and handsome guy I met just isn't awesome. He's younger than me, lives at home, and all of our conversations are painfully awkward. It just isn't going to happen.
The single and awesome guy I met is a lot of fun, but I can't say that I am particularly attracted to him. It doesn't help that his personal life is a bit of a mess right now, and I am definitely avoiding all of the external drama that I can these days!
The handsome and awesome man I met was that type of encounter where you think to yourself "Is every good man taken?" Meeting him was the first time since the Ex that I felt physically and mentally attracted to someone. Sometimes life just isn't fair!
It's times like these where you start to think about settling. At least, the thought crosses your mind. Who wants to be alone or lonely, right? No one does, and I think that is how a lot of us end up in relationships where we are complacent beings, who stay comforted inside our fears and insecurities.
I've had my faith shaken in the world of relationships over time. As I've gotten older, I've started to see the different cracks that can appear in relationships, and I've realized just how much work relationships can be throughout the years. It's becoming clearer to me why people end up divorcing so "easily"*. I think when you try to make a relationship work you have to sacrifice a bit of yourself to do so, and you have to put your own needs aside. When you already do that as a parent, I think that having to do that as a partner is just too demanding of a task. On the other hand, I think we are also very susceptible to the adage "the grass is always greener on the other side". Of course a new relationship isn't going to have the same struggles and hardships and frustrations that an old one does. But it will eventually. Sometimes we decide to live in the moment for all the wrong reasons!
Back to the idea of settling, I want to reiterate that I am just not there yet. I don't want to settle and I don't think that I should feel like I have to. Of course I get scared that I will end up alone, but I am more scared that I will end up where I was: with someone, feeling alone.
It's probably silly to think, after all of the above observations and realizations, that I can actually believe that
"someday my prince will come", but I really and truly do. Maybe I'm a little naive and slightly crazy to feel that way, but, when it comes down to it, you have to have faith, right?
This post comes at the end of a night where, while I had a great time with friends, I felt a little sadness hanging over me. I feel better having written this out, and I hope that my blog readers are OK with the fact that I have been heading into off-topic territory throughout the course of this blog. More 101 Things updates are coming soon, I promise!
Until next time...

*Make no mistake, I definitely do not believe that divorce is ever easy. I think it is one of the hardest things you can go through. I read recently that when a child experiences the divorce of their parents, they actually feel the pain as if it were a death in their family (the death of their family, really). I can completely relate to this, as I think this is why my own parents' divorce was so difficult. I hate that I remember that we found out about the divorce on Canada Day. It's hard to believe that this year will be 18 years. :(

Thursday, June 23, 2011


I'm one work day away from summer vacation, and I can't get my mind to shut off. Switching my teacher brain from this past year, to next year was a dangerous flip - now all I can think about is lesson planning for the fall. Except that thinking is about all of the energy I can muster for that task. I feel like I am moving in slow motion!
I went for a job interview on Tuesday for a part-time job at a hotel here in the Hammer. It was a great interview, they were very friendly, and I am definitely qualified (if not over-qualified) for the job. I don't know if I will accept the job if offered it though. It doesn't pay very well, and it works on a schedule similar to a factory. Realistically I would work either afternoon shifts of 3-11, or overnight shifts of 11-7. I can't think of a WORSE part-time job schedule than that. The minuscule paycheque just isn't worth going back to working the night shift. That was definitely one of the lower points of my adult life.
On to Plan B for a part-time job. Anybody need their: kids tutored/houses cleaned/babysitting help/car washed/ etc.? Let me know ;)
I'm currently 11 days away from heading to Calgary - I'm so excited to meet the new baby and Melissa's new man!!
I'm starting out Thing #61 - Take a pole dancing class tomorrow night, which I am very excited about. Don't get too excited, as I can't imagine I will ever perform said routines in front of an audience! Ha ha! Here's hoping it is a great work out though!
As for Thing #6, I haven't been on a scale since last Sunday, so I have no idea if I am any closer to reaching my mini-goal of being in the 140s by July. I'm afraid to look!
I completed Thing 80 last week, and have my new Blackberry Bold to prove it! I am in love with it, if not slightly overwhelmed by the CONSTANT connectedness I am feeling. It really is convenient though, and the camera on it is absolutely amazing! It is having some issues with freezing, which are slightly concerning me, so I think I am going to have to call and just make sure I didn't end up with a problem that will only get worse over time.
I have more updates and pictures to share, but I can't let this insomnia go much farther tonight - I need all my focus and energy for my last day of meetings!!

Look forward to more frequent updates now that school is (almost) out for summer!!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Different Perspectives

I feel as if it's been ages since I blogged, even though it's only been a week!
Not too much happening from the list at the moment - although Janey Canuck & Holly have been great coaches for preparing for Thing 45 - Fly with only carry on luggage - I told my Mom about it and she laughed. Rightly so, as I couldn't even go home for 2 nights without filling my entire backseat! I am going to need lots of help and luck to pull this one off (and some good weather -so warm up Calgary!!!)
Tomorrow I will be pulling off (unbelievably) Thing 80 - Upgrade to a smartphone - I can hardly believe it! I will be joining some of you in BlackberryLand! :) I'm SO excited - only about 19 hours left!!! HA!
I've kept up with working on Thing 6 - Reach goal weight - I'm about 27lbs from my goal - last week was tough, and my workouts definitely were less intense. Today's step class was tough, my legs were very tired - but I am going to get back on track this week. I'm hoping to break the 140s by July, so wish me luck!!!
I noticed, once again, just how important diet is again this week - my eating schedule was WAY off track since it was pretty much a mini-vacation week. I feel so much better tonight, after being able to eat better today. I can't wait to get back into my morning smoothie routine tomorrow - it's been almost a week and I've been missing it!!
Over the weekend I was able to hang out with Mrs. Puff & I must say, she is a breath of fresh air! I don't know if we ever have a boring time when we are together! She did say something surprising to me though - that some of my earlier blogs on this site were a little sad. I was surprised, since I had thought that I had been rather positive through this journey so far. I am going to take a look back over the next week to read, and see how I feel then - Let me know your thoughts as well!
I guess, even if the initial posts were sad, I think they are mostly uplifting now. At any rate, I don't feel sad. I actually feel positive and hopeful for the future. And now I must go knock on wood!
I've been having trouble actually remembering some of my Things. I think I need to start carrying a copy of my list around with me!
I have some sad news on the Thing 86 front ( Keep a plant alive for 6 months):
The plant has died. Sigh. I am currently on the search for a hanging plant variety that does NOT need sunlight. My Dad assures me that it exists, and will help me find one soon! On the bright side, I complained at the greenhouse & was refunded in full!

I have been successful with Thing 75 - Sit on a patio at least once a week for the months of June, July & August so far. The weather has been nice (and hot!) enough that I have done this starting even from the end of May. To be clear, this will mostly be done just by sitting on friends' patios - not going out to actual restaurants. It makes me want to find an apartment with a balcony as well. I miss sitting out on the porch and reading. Must do this outdoors somewhere soon!

I also did a little of Thing 52 - Take photos of time spent with friends or family at least once a month while I was home. Check out my adorable Mom & her new kitten Nerd*. 

One last Thing to update you on for today. Two weeks ago I went on another waterfall walk with Janey Canuck & Mrs. Little. We hiked Webster's Falls and Tew's Falls - which crosses 2 more waterfalls off my Top 16 viewing list - 13 left to go! While hiking, we came across the most beautiful conservation area, that I plan to visit again this summer - it felt like Wonderland there! 
Tew's Falls

I think that's all for today. I'll leave you with one final thought, that I might turn into a Thing. 
Clearly, blogging does not encompass that all important quality of review and editing. When I go back to read previous blog entries, I cringe at the spelling, typing and grammar errors I make, since I don't really proofread my entries. I might need to change this though. I'm seriously ashamed!
Until next time...

*My family insists that the new kitten's name is Lenny. Clearly, he is actually a Nerd. ;)

Monday, June 06, 2011

Time, where did you go?

Just a quick little update today, because I just don't have the time for more!
The last few weeks have been very busy - the school year is coming to a close, which means report card writing is the weight hanging over my head at the moment, and I have been using whatever spare time I have to get to the gym everyday. I started going in the mornings last week, before work, and I love it! Didn't make it this morning as I'm getting some work done that didn't happen over the weekend (oops!), but hope to keep it up so my progress on Thing 6 - Reach Goal Weight, can continue! :)
I am pretty sure I will have TONS of time to update regularly over the summer, so I'm not too worried.
I have managed to get a few Things started, and worked on, despite being busy!
One big thing I am planning to do is to accomplish Thing 45 - Fly somewhere with only carry on luggage (!), when I go to Calgary this summer. Think I can travel that lightly for 9 days?! (Neither do I at the moment...) Any tips you have for this would be great!
I am also planning for Thing 31 - Wear only dresses for a week & Thing 80 - Upgrade to a smartphone, to happen in the near future.
Expect a longer and more detailed update to follow later this week when report cards are finished.