Monday, August 15, 2011

Don't You (Forget About Me)

I promise that I haven't forgotten about you!!

I have been living without internet, aside from my blackberry for over a month now. Last week my laptop gave up the ghost, and I haven't felt inspired enough to go and seek out alternate means of blogging.

As of right now, I am blogging from my brand new laptop. I am attempting to get used to the keyboard. It feels very strange!!
I don't have any photos on this laptop yet, so this post isn't going to be very exciting in terms of updates. Actually, it isn't even really going to be focused on my 101 Things list, as seems to be the theme of my more recent posts. I am still working on the challenge, and have been doing as many things as I can, but it hasn't been at the top of my priorities, without the ability to check in on here easily.
One thing I have learned over this summer is that I work best, and accomplish more, when I have a set routine. Living day to day with no real routine has left me feeling rather aimless and unproductive.
Mentally, I think I really needed the first few weeks of that. After my first full year of teaching, and with the personal struggles I went through, I really needed that no-brainer time to mentally detox. The last week or so though, I have been feeling depression setting in again. I think it's mostly hormonal, and I am concerned enough that I am going to get checked out this week.
I've also been living this summer without any real form of payment, my EI claim was just accepted and I am waiting to receive that money. It's not nearly enough to play catch up with though, and I am looking forward to my regular paycheques resuming at the end of the month. I plan to make a concerted effort to set aside enough money so that I hopefully can avoid this situation next summer.
Today I was hit with a $500 legal bill from my home ownership situation that I thought had been dealt with. I am feeling very stressed out about it, and quite surprised. I was under the impression that everything was being taken care of, since I left that house without any claim to anything in it. How many more times do I need to learn from my past mistakes? How often do I need reminders about the idiocy I put myself through?
Whatever funk I am in now, I am anxiously awaiting for it to pass. It feels very reminiscent of how I spent the last several years feeling, and I am in no way interested in heading back down that path. I think that I am in a better position now because I can feel that I shouldn't feel this way, and I know I don't deserve to. I haven't been as diligent in avoiding carbs either, which hasn't helped my moods. I don't overload on them like I did in the past, but I have been cheating more often. Last week I had pasta twice, (which hasn't happened since April!) because I was feeling so down in the dumps. It took some strength, but I passed it by at the grocery store on Friday, and I am going to try to start this week on the right foot.
I'm hoping to have internet hooked up at my new apartment soon, maybe even this week, so that I can get back to using this blog in a more positive and interesting way, rather than my personal drama soap stand that it has become.
Hopefully I haven't caused too many readers to walk away in frustration. I promise that there are many more fun and interesting updates on the way!!
Until next time...

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